Shawn: Today marks the fourth anniversary of your death. I think about you everyday and I know that you are with me. I know your spirit is free and you are at peace. That being said, this day is still particularly difficult for me. I can't help but think of you as you were in your darkest hour, and it hurts. God damn does it hurt. I know that you are more than your death, but it is still a part of who you are and it's a part of who I am too and it deserves to be acknowledged. So I guess that's what I'm using this day for...I remember all the goods times and laughter, but today I remember the sadness too. Because it existed as a part of you and I want to honor all of who you were. I wish things would have been different. I wish I could talk to you and laugh with you and hug you one more time. I love you Shawn. I hope that your spirit knows and feels that. Be forewarned, when I see you again I'm probably going to punch you square in the nose...but then you better brace yourself because I'm going to hold you tight in my arms. For now I will just hold you tight in my heart. Okay? Love always, Kim